SOUTH CAROLINA EMANCIPATION
Dear everybodys uncle,
I'm researching legal emancipation in south carolina, and all that I can find about it is that South Carolina has no real laws about it. I was also reading your letters to someone (time to leave home) and was wondering if you could help me.
I live with my mom and her boyfriend, and his son. I just moved in over last summer from my dad’s house because I thought it would be better for me. But as it turns out, it’s been the complete opposite. I don’t know where to start about this. First, my mom was pregnant at the age of 16 with my older sister, who is now 17 and has a baby of her own.
Then it was me. And finally my younger sister Sarah, who still lives with my father. My older sister was 15 when she was pregnant. My mom’s boyfriend kicked her out of our house, and my mother agreed and took her to my grandparents house in Ohio. My mom’s still with the same boyfriend who doesn’t treat anybody with respect. After about a year I moved in with my mom because she told me that it would be different, it wouldn’t be all about her and her boyfriend, that I would have a secure life. WRONG. Everything was okay for about a month or so but now, I can’t stand it here. But my mom won’t even let me go to see my dad on the weekends or anything. One of my best friend’s parents have even considering adopting me out of this. But mom won’t let it happen. So I would have a home to go to, that my dad trusts, and a job. I was talking with her the other day and she pointed something out to me that I totally agree with. She told me that I was was not my mom’s protector. And thats exactly what I've been doing. Trying to protect my mom from everything. From her drinking, her smoking, her jerk boyfriend. EVERYTHING. Her boyfriend has also called me many names before, some of them were: "piece of shit" "retard" and "dumbass". My mom doesn’t even seem to care. So, please, just tell me what I need to do to get out of here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
..::runaway love::..
Dear RL,
[Uncle Jim is not a lawyer. Seek legal counsel before acting upon any information published on this web page.]
The two guidelines of which I am aware (South Carolina) indicate emancipation at age 18 or after graduation from high school. Emancipation prior to age 18 seemed more dependent upon ability to support one’s self.
Life is not always fair, not always easy, but it does provide us with positive and negative examples. I don’t doubt for a minute that your life is no joy and may not be for some time to come. You point out the unplanned pregnancies, the lack of a solid home with either mom or dad, and the unfortunate lifestyle that you have.
To the best of my knowledge (unless there is a court order) custodial parents can not arbitrarily deny visitation to the non-custodial parent.
What can be done?
The subject of visitation with dad can be addressed. If mom and dad can not come to an agreement, the court can order visitation conditions. It is not unusual for the non-custodial parent to “get weekends” or other arrangements.
Teenagers always feel put upon, so I have to see into what you write and take a guess at reality. When we are surrounded by irresponsible conduct we are inevitably affected by it. You have provided sufficient details for me to have some picture of what your life is like – not good. Unless you have some independent means of support, emancipation is not likely. Your best friend’s parents, even with the best intentions, have virtually no chance of adopting you or providing living quarters without consent of your parents. In short, you are stuck in mom’s house but you are not helpless.
Mom got pregnant at 16; your sister got pregnant at 15. It is a fair bet that your sister was just as unhappy as you are now, but did she learn from mom’s experience? What did you learn? Did you learn that unplanned pregnancies bring havoc to teenage moms and their babies? Did you conclude that teenage sex is no problem unless you get “caught?” Did you ever stop to think about the long term consequences to your mom, her daughter, and now her grandchild?
I want you to do some thinking. Realistically your chances of things improving the people around you are not good, but you can improve your own situation. You have to weigh the conduct of the people around you and decide what conduct you want to keep in your life or change. Mom lives with a “jerk.” Dad has not demanded visitation. Big sister has a baby she can’t support.
Don’t make the mistakes they made and maybe you won’t wind up in the situations they have. At the very least they were careless – so are you. You didn’t spell check your inquiry. I edited some of it to make it easier for the readers. “Hey, that’s a small thing Uncle Jim.” True, but what you are best advised to do is take care of the small things, start to think long term. Life in the short term looks like a challenge you didn’t ask for and don’t deserve. Maybe you can’t change the big things right now but you can make the best of a bad situation. Build a better and stronger you. How are your grades? What kind of friends do you have? Rate your own conduct.
One thing about challenges – when we survive them, we are stronger.
One of the interesting things about writing this column is noting that people don’t want advice as much as they want validation. As soon as I tell them to act more responsibly, they are not interested. While your problems might be the fault of other people, do you really expect them to change? Maybe mom just gave up; maybe your dad gave up; maybe your sister gave up. It didn’t work for them; it won’t work for you.
Everybody’s Uncle
