RUNAWAY OR ADULT
Hello!
I am writing you regarding the legal age to move out of my parent's house in Missouri. I have 4 months until I turn 18. I have considered the pro's and con's of this decision. I believe it would be best. I have a house to stay at and food/clothes will not be an issue. I plan on going to college next fall. I have heard from several people that I can move out at 17 legally here in MO, but I just want to make sure that I'm not charged as a runaway. Thank you for your time!
Unsigned
Dear Unsigned,
I checked the age at which one is considered an “adult” in Missouri. According to the information I accessed [title 211.021] you are correct – 17. Please check to your own satisfaction before doing anything.
Think about this:
Most teenagers feel they are captives in their parent’s homes. This parent/child friction has existed perhaps for all time. How then to decide what is generation gap and what supports moving out.
If there is no physical, sexual, or emotional abuse and there is reasonable food, shelter and clothing provided - that would probably keep a minor in such a home.
An adult can move out at any time for any reason. Moving from parental support to self support is not easy. A minor takes much for granted. It is extremely difficult to support yourself at this age; tougher to carry college costs. Room mates and cohabitation have a very low success rates. Brother or sister teams fail; individuals are often left in impossible financial situations – sometimes on the street. If you think living home is rough, try the streets.
If negotiation is possible, I urge you to give it a last chance. Parents tend to treat young adults like children at any age; teenagers expect total freedom and total support. Rational minds should be able to compromise. Parents have the right to set standards for their home; adult children have the right to move out. Somewhere in there is a grey area. When emotions clash grey becomes black and white meltdown.
In most cases, love exists between parents and kids even through social warfare. If it does, each side should ask if separation is going to serve either of the parties in the long run or just trump the present argument. Adults (parent and child) should be able to come to the bargaining table. He who fails to negotiate in good faith might have a lifetime of regret for the damage that could have been avoided.
Uncle Jim has no knowledge of the substance or lack thereof in this meltdown. This presentation does not take sides, rather respects both. In good faith, you should show this to your parents. In good faith they should give consideration to your position.
As a tactic, agree not to argue for a week and set a date to sit with cool heads. If each side can compromise a little, perhaps a family breakup can be avoided.
I make a great referee (at your service). I don’t take sides.
Uncle Jim
