Hi

Am looking to engage to my girlfriend, she's already said yes. But i need to tell her parents, unfortunately they live far away, i told them over the phone and they said i should put it in writing, the question is i don't know how to write it. please can u help?

My email is [withheld]

Thank u

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Dear Al,

Welcome to America.

In this culture, adults engage and marry without written notice to parents. You informed your intended in-laws of your engagement plans; our culture is satisfied but there are other considerations.

If the culture (or the family) of your intended bride suggests or demands written notice, please weigh the impact of non-compliance. Is there a dowry or gift in the balance? What social problems hang in the decision?

Your question asks how to write, not if.

Do not consider E-mail. Your excruciatingly casual text (unedited, above) brings a chat-room mindset to a supposedly serious question. Attention to propriety wins favor; gross informality fails universally with an online uncle, intended in-laws, and other cultures.

Nephew, estimate what your audience (in-laws or the world) wants. Define yourself in terms of where you will fight, yield, or negotiate. Then, "play to your audience." Present yourself honestly, politely, credibly and respectfully. If you do that, maybe your in-laws will pay for the wedding.

If you decide to send written notice, write a rough draft and send it to me. I will edit it to my standards.

Good luck,
Everybody's Uncle