PREGNANT EX-GIRLFRIEND

Everybody's Uncle

Hi,

I am an eighteen-year old male from South Carolina. My question is, my ex-girlfriend is pregnant with my child. I am being forced into taking care of the unborn child, and I am being forced to pay for all of her doctor and medical needs. Even though I am the one who has a well paying job, and works five days a week. But she only works one day a week and barely gets paid, and most of the time she was calling in sick to be with me.

What should I do?  Even though I am the one making the money in this situation?  I mean part of me wants to be the father and the other parts don't want to be. I feel like I am being forced to do all the work in this situation while she sits around and does nothing. Should I let it continue or make a stand on it? I just don't know what to do, please help me.  Please keep my name anonymous.
                                                

                                                                 ******

Dear Anonymous,

If this situation comes down to a real battle, your fate will be decided by the legal guidelines of the state. If you wish to play your legal cards, get an attorney immediately.

Paternity brings responsibility. If you are sure you are the father, get ready for responsibility. If you are not sure, get a test.

Perhaps the most responsible thing two teenagers can do in this situation is to consider adoption. If this is acceptable to both parties, an attorney can often arrange for adopting parents to pay for the expenses of prenatal care and delivery.

If all goes well, the child will be placed with a loving couple who can offer security and opportunity. Compare that with the circumstance that you and your ex-girlfriend can provide.

Do not get into an emotional battle with your ex-girlfriend. Assume that she will have the final decision in the matter of adoption. This option will make more sense to her if she is approached gently. Sometimes family members can discuss the situation rationally. Clergy or attorneys may be better options if the families are incapable.

If adoption is not an option, then accept your responsibilities with dignity. You and your girlfriend made a mistake that can mean an awful life for a totally innocent child.

It does not have to be that way. Both of you can make the best of a bad situation by giving up the child portion of your lives and starting the adult stage. Make that baby the focus of your life and experience the joy of parenthood.

The simple truth is that you and your girlfriend didn't have the common sense to avoid pregnancy and don't have a clue as to what to do now. You are in dire need of a counselor. Find a competent relative, clergyman, or professional to walk you through some tough times ahead.

Here if I can help,
Uncle Jim