PREGNANCY PARANOIA AND COCAINE
Everybody's Uncle:
I am 19 years old and am 5 months pregnant by my boyfriend which is 25. We have been together for a year and a half. I didn't notice the paranoid behavior until after I found out I was pregnant. However, in the past I was I told I couldn't go to parties with my former college friends, and I couldn't wear certain clothes if I wasn't around him.
Now, I dropped out of school temporarily (hopefully) and I have no friends. I never cheated on him in fact he was the only person I ever loved. Recently, he began accusing me of sleeping with his boss. Blaming me for him not getting promoted. I also recently found out that he was selling and using crack cocaine. Now it seems as if I am in this world alone just me and my unborn child. The only thing that passes through my mind is how am I going to tell my daughter her father is a crack addict. He constantly calls my house and cell leaving messages saying he will forgive me if I told him the truth about everything, and there is nothing to tell the truth about. I don't know what to do. Please help.
[Unsigned]
Unsigned,
Here is your track record. Nineteen, college drop out, pregnant by a paranoid, crack-cocaine user/dealer Bozo for whom you gave up all your friends and your young adult years.
If you have even the slightest notion of "saving" this relationship, read no further. If you take a good look at your track record and want things to improve, read on.
Your first concern must be safety for you and your unborn. Bozo is a drug addict; Bozo is a criminal; Bozo is dangerous. If you don't understand this, read no further. If you do, get to safety. You mention "my house," if that is the safe home of your parents, do whatever you must to remain there. I am sure your parents are not happy for your delicate condition or the earlier than expected grandchild. If clear heads prevail a discussion regarding placing the child up for adoption or grandparent assisted single parenthood is in order. Having made all bad decisions, I suggest you make no demands. Nothing you write indicates any income or means of self-support. Be happy for sanctuary. If you keep the baby, Bozo will be required to give support. He will no doubt ask for visitation rights. Do you want your daughter with a crack-head? You might do well to consult with a lawyer for an explanation of options.
Your situation is difficult for reasons that you cannot even comprehend. Your youthful mindset is still in fun mode. Reality says fun is over. Childlike, it is easy to see your parents as babysitters for your good times. Reality says YOU must build a life for you and your baby. A three-generation household is a discussion for another day.
If you provide additional information perhaps I can be more helpful.
Please, within 24 hours, tell be you are away from Bozo the crack-head criminal.
Everybody's Uncle
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