NOW YOU SEE HIM - NOW YOU DON'T

Hi Uncle Jim,
You have such a logical and good head on your shoulders and I wanted to ask your opinion on something else.
Got any clues as to why a male friend of mine would be in contact for a period of time and then just stop, just like that? We were friends as kids and after about a 25 year separation, met up coincidentally four years ago. We met for dinner and when we saw each other, we instantly found a nice connection again after all that time. He lives in another state (NY) and is divorced and has a grown son. I too am divorced. We talked for hours, laughed and discussed things and even planned to see each other again.  We have seen each other for dinner a few times but he gets close to me and then just cools it.
Women know when a man likes them - it's not an ego thing but a natural understanding of nature. I just don't understand why, if he likes me, he runs like the dickens when we start to get close? You're a man, any ideas why some act this way?
Thanks
Confused NJ Gal

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Dear Confused,

Uncle Jim has tried - and I mean really tried - to make my nieces of all ages understand MALES.

Men are easy. They are various blends of Hormones, Egos, and Babies. Start with those basics and customize for the individual.

Hormones: Women simply don't get this. Almost every male product advertised has a common denominator. If you don't know what it is - oh well. Women should be aware that hormones come disguised as romance. You see it in almost every chick flick but you still don't get it!

Egos: Perhaps the only thing that competes with hormones is ego. EGO! If you think hormones are difficult; egos are worse. To coin a phrase, men will cut off their hormones to satisfy their ego. Women have a tactical advantage if they can place a percentage on the hormone/ego ratio. Older men often suffer from inadequacy and would rather run than be tested. Getting close can be scary.

Babies: Men are first babied by their mothers and never get over it. They like to be pampered. Give sympathy, home cooked meals, and lots of TLC, Play the mommy role but don't forget a lot of it is gamesmanship.

Some general things:

Does he have other female friends, dates, whatever?
Has he been hurt emotionally recently, or carrying old wounds?
Do you have comparable or compatible, economics, education, social status and interests? Do you intimidate him?
Is he so "fixed in his ways" that he fears intrusion? Men don't like to feel captured, controlled, compromised or dominated. Does he see you as a threat?
Does he "hide out" or is he open about himself, his situation, and his goals?
Have you made your intentions clear or is he left to guess?
Have you asked him point blank, "Why do you run?"
Are you completely honest with him?
Have you ever told him exactly what you want of the relationship?
Be open for negotiation. Take all the pressure out.

Get all the cards on the table or at least try. You could show him this list. If it is followed by a mature discussion both of you will have a clearer picture of the other side of the table. If he can't handle it - run.

Uncle Jim