MOVE OUT AT 17

[Unedited]

Uncle Jim,
 
My family and I dont get along good at all. I am 17 years old. I have already graduated from high school. I start college in a few weeks. I have a steady job & plus I am getting finicial aid to pay my way through school. But I want to move out now? Can I move out on my own without telling my parents where I lived if I wanted to? I live in South Carolina. I have been trying to pull up some information on the internet about the laws but I cant find anything. so please help me.


(unsigned)

                                                 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _         

Dear unsigned,

Please read the "Move Out" inquiries in this section. Conditions that justify separating from parents and feasibility of "going out on your own" are discussed.

At seventeen, conflict with parents is not unusual nor is the stress of a generation gap. You should consider the following before attempting to separate.

Success stories of 17-year-olds going it alone are few and far between. I know of none, do you? It would be difficult to hide out if you are registered at any school or if your place of employment is known.

Have all efforts been made to negotiate a mutually acceptable arrangement with your parents? Uncle Jim plays no favorites and will gladly serve as mediator. Call my radio show Saturday morning between 10:30 - noon. The number is 973-267-WMTR (973-267-9687).

Parents have a right to set standards for their household. No matter where you live, someone will set standards, that includes: landlords, siblings, friends and school dormitories. Moving out does not mean no rules!

In The Thinking Zone, we momentarily step out of our culture, religion, traditions and family standards and draw objective conclusions. Emotionally you can defy logic, but playing against overwhelming odds produces few winners.

Successful relationships require tolerance and understanding of the "other side."
Both parents and offspring become sensitive to the conduct of each other. Tempers flare and emotion takes over. If each side agrees to come to the table with a spirit of compromise, a negotiated peace treaty is possible.

Among my nieces and nephews are individuals that have a warm home, plenty of good food, nice clothes, their own room, computers, cell phones, and many other amenities. If you have these things and are not being abused, you may be experiencing normal teenage desire for independence and self-rule. Unless you are logically ready to take on all the responsibilities of independence, DO NOT leave home. Reach out, talk it out, accept the rules of the house.

Reality check:

Uncle Jim wonders how someone could graduate from High School and write with errors obvious to an 8th grader. How steady is that job? Can you support yourself? Why are you starting school in January?   

Nothing in your inquiry indicates self-sufficiency. Nothing in your inquiry indicates abuse.

Stay where you are until you are 18. Consider boarding at college.

I would like to hear your parent's side of the story,
Everybody's Uncle