HEMORRHOID EMBARASSMENT

Everybody's Uncle,

I have a problem: A few days back, I decided to go to the bathroom like any regular person because I had eaten a lot so I had to go pooh. When I was done, I wiped myself with toilet paper and it was hurting a lot and there was a bump there.

It kind of felt like a big pimple and I didn't really mind. Well, then before going to sleep I remembered an episode of South Park when one of the kids gets a hemorrhoid so I decided to look it up online. I was right; it was a hemorrhoid that I felt that day. I searched the Internet for a treatment but all of them were like creams which I had to buy and since I am underage I cant buy them and like I don't want to tell this to my parents because I find it really embarrassing.

I was wondering if you would know of any treatment for it that is like any household item because I really don't want to go through the embarrassment of telling my parents. And I wouldn't want to go to a doctor either because that would mean that I have to miss school for a surgery and then everyone would be asking why I was absent and I would have to be making up excuses. I hope you understand.

-Person in Trouble

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Dear PIT,

I understand that your embarrassment stands in the way of the best course of action. Of course you should tell your parents and get the best medical advice from a doctor. It is dangerous to self-diagnose and self-medicate.

That said, I will give you my best judgements within your parameters.

According to my local pharmacist, there is no age requirement for the purchase of over the counter medications for hemorrhoids. Assuming you have a simple hemorrhoid of the least serious classification - such creams advertise relief from discomfort.

Keep the area clean, very clean. Sanitizing wipes and special attention when bathing makes sense at all times but especially when that area is irritated. Wash gently - no harsh soaps or rough wash cloths.

Avoid spicy foods and all that greasy fast food. They can cause burning and discomfort.

Difficult bowel movements can aggravate the condition. A diet that is conducive to proper digestion and soft elimination makes sense. Check with your pharmacist for helpful suggestions.

In cases of least concern, hemorrhoids come and go. If the condition persists, professional help is essential.

Please reconsider talking to your parents about your situation. At some point, embarrassment has to yield to good judgement.

Women often develop hemorrhoids during pregnancy. Ask your mom about this. It may be a way to break down the wall of non-communication that is all too common and troubling in our culture.

None of the above is to be taken as medical advise - such advice can only be given by qualified medical doctors.

Good luck,

Everybody's Uncle