HAVE “BOY” NEEDS MAN
Hello,
I am not sure what to do.
I am almost twenty years old. I consider myself a very responsible young lady that likes to work hard and also likes to study a lot. At this point in my life I am working full time and I am in my sophomore year as a full time college student. I recently moved out of my parent’s house to live with my aunt, a 43 year old single lady.
Now it seems that my aunt’s daughter and her husband (that moved out a long time ago) are having problems. They are planning to move back with my aunt. That means I have to move out.
I have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months already, and honestly our relationship as gone up and down too much - a very unstable relationship. However, since the last time we had a fight, like a month ago, things are going a lot better. I feel that he really is trying to have a better relationship. He has asked me if I like the idea of moving in together. Since I am in a very difficult situation I am thinking about moving in with him (an apartment complex very near our jobs.
Now, I could move on my own but I just earn enough money to pay all my bills. I will be left without a penny in my pocket if I move on my own. I don't think moving on my own and living pay check to pay check is a good idea. Therefore, I am thinking that best thing is to move in with my boyfriend. He has worked as a firefighter for two years and he currently has a new job as an accountant. He has been studying accounting for 4 years and is about to graduate from college.
We have talked about how we could manage our money together. We think that he can pay half and I can pay half of the rent. We have talked about cleanliness and groceries and that I still have to finish school. Everything seems that it will be ok, so my question is should I move with him or not.
Thanks,
God Bless You!
(unsigned)
Dear Unsigned,
If you confuse/mix romance with finance get ready for some real trouble.
In The Thinking Zone – FIRST – you become your own person. That means total independence. You state that the relationship is unstable. The last thing you need is instability “at home” when you have a job and college commitments. He will be working full time. You will be working full time, going to school full time and servicing his hormonal needs full time. Men, according to Uncle Jim, are HORMONES EGOES and BABIES. Since he will be at an advantage in the relationship, you are vulnerable to falling under his thumb. Not smart!
You set forth one, and only one, alternative to leaving your aunt’s house. You could ask your aunt to stay for a while (sleep in a sleeping bag if necessary) to save up for your own place. Any chance of returning to your parent’s home? Maybe you could find a safe boarding situation. Perhaps the college has dormitory space or qualified accommodations. Rent sharing with anyone is usually a prescription for trouble but if you have to, try to find a female with high compatibility. Carry fewer credits and work more.
Isolating the romantic side of the relationship:
Typically the first 6 months of a relationship is the “romantic” period where people get to know one another and are on their “best behavior.” You are already fighting.
My suggestions are two:
Don’t move in with him. Find somebody else. There are more mature MEN out there that would do hand flips to have a young woman with your work ethic. One might even be looking for a wife – not a roommate – not a playmate.
At your level of commitment to your personal goals you should be focused on finding a MAN. What you have is a BOY.
Everybody’s Uncle
