ARKANSAS YEARNING

hi uncle jim i am going through i bad time with my mom we fight so much its
not even funny i live in arkansas i will be 17 on feb 20 of this year thats
less than a mounth away is it legal for me to move in with her? i am asking
this because i just dont know if i could handle another year with my mom
over the years my mom has called me a bitch stupid and a lot more names she
has called me them more than i can count i have been slaped on the arm more
than i can count and every time she leaves a red mark one of my older
sister's left when she was 17 because of what my mom puts us through if i
moved in with my sister would that be ok she would take care of me a lot
beter than my mom i think of her as more of a mom to me then a sister please
let me know something soon. beadie



[Translation]

Hi Uncle Jim,

I am going through a bad time with my mom. We fight so much its not even funny. I live in Arkansas. I will be 17 on Feb 20 of this year; that’s less than a month away is it legal for me to move in with her? I am asking this because I just don’t know if I could handle another year with my mom. Over the years my mom has called me a bitch, stupid and a lot more names; she has called me them more than I can count. I have been slapped on the arm more than I can count and every time she leaves a red mark. One of my older sister's left when she was 17 because of what my mom puts us through. If I moved in with my sister would that be ok?  She would take care of me a lot better than my mom. I think of her as more of a mom to me then a sister. Please let me know something soon.

Beadie

  

Dear Beadie,

Please read the column below (and many others) for some sense of proportionality. I do not think parents should routinely strike their children and cringe at the vile language used on the kids they are supposed to love and nurture. I firmly believe in strict guidelines for kids but am solidly against yelling, cursing and striking kids. When parents employ these tactics it is usually out of anger. What they are saying might be the correct message but it is destroyed by their anger. When parents scream at kids, the kids often hear, “She hates me.” There is a difference between a reprimand of loving concern and one of uncontrolled anger.
I am sure you enjoyed hearing about parental responsibilities. Let’s take a look at yours. Do you take any pride in being the best person you can be? NO! Your post was so poorly written, creative editing was required [Unedited text above.] All kids are experts in pointing out the faults of their parents, but how many kids are perfect? I’ll bet your room is neat, your grades are excellent, you do chores without being told, and your personal conduct is flawless – right?

Niece, each of us would like life to be easier. Each of us would like everyone around us to be perfect so our life will be easier. Most of us don’t make life easier for others; in fact, rarely give it a thought. Most of us have unrealistic expectations. Maybe living with your sister would be easier and better – I don’t know. However, while older sisters might mean well, there are not many with the maturity to provide “parenting” for a younger sibling.  

I am not making any judgment about the situation you are in but I will give you a chance to make a better showing. Write a response to this column. Write coherent sentences and use spell check. Remember, in a year or so you will legally be able to move out. Please explain to me how you will support yourself if you are told to leave.

I’ll be waiting.

Everybody’s Uncle